DEMOCRATIC
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
Barbra Streisand sings for you.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his
cow.

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
Under the new farm program the government pays you to
shoot one, milk the other, and then pours the milk down
the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO
on the 2nd one. You force the two cows to produce the
milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead. You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have
downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch and drink wine.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an
ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of
beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred
miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per
year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you
really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any
creature's private parts. You get a $40 million grant
from the US government to find alternatives to milk
production but use the money to buy weapons.

IRAQI CORPORATION
You own two cows.
They go into hiding.
They send radio tapes of their mooing.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have the two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to
milk them.

BELGIAN CORPORATION
You own one cow.
The cow is schizophrenic.
Sometimes the cow thinks he's French, other times
he's Flemish.
The Flemish cow won't share with the French cow.
The French cow wants control of the Flemish cow's milk.
The cow asks permission to be cut in half.
The cow dies happy.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who actually like the brown one best
accidentally vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you
which one you think is the best-looking cow.

CALIFORNIA CORPORATION
You have millions of cows.
They make real California cheese.
Only five speak English.
Most are illegals.
Arnold likes the ones with the big udders.
__________________
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ROTFLMAO!!!

No, it's more like this:

DEMOCRATIC
You bought two cows you earned working at a Republican-owned business that is thriving in the Bush economy.
Your neighbor has none, you think because of racism or other white-man-related oppression, and you want to raise taxes to pay for free milk and other things your neighbor is not willing to earn. Affirmative action may help as well.
You feel guilty for being successful, and resent the country and the entire white race because success is "too easy" if you "act like a white man."

Happy Holidays!!

That was in wk 3 of my syllabus for Pol Theory 201.

i like it

Hahahaha! That is awesome!

HellaDumb made this thread even funnier with this quote:




Where is this thriving economy you speak of? Are you and other Republican blow-hards hiding it from the rest of us?


:banana:

Haha, good stuff!

Defense contractors like this guy ensure that republican owned businesses do well.

https://www.i-club.com/forums/teh-politics-forum-114/california-coruption-119174/

haha... owned

(me thinks we need to create an i-club poster / dartboard with a "Dumb Owned" image for our cubicles)

Sorry, my bad. This only applies to hard-working smart people, and I'm not kidding. :banana:

...or the ones who can buy good contracts from the government, because that's really really hard work...

:rotfl:

All it takes is a few hundred thousand dollars in your local republican congressmans pocket and you too can get a nice contract.....

Can I get a Yacht to use for a while?

http://money.cnn.com/2005/11/30/news...ex.htm?cnn=yes

In yo' mouth, booches! I guess the world keeps on turning for the rest of us!

Hahahaha, I love how you see this as a win for you or whatever side you think you're on... I'm happy as hell that the economy is doing better.